memika2981-mpyrd

Yesterday morning started like every other peaceful morning. I, Kung Pow Rooster, protector of the kingdom, defender of the ladies, and feathered warrior extraordinaire, was conducting my routine security rounds.
The sun was rising. The hens were enjoying their morning. Everything was calm.
And then she arrived.
Now, for days I have tolerated this large human woman they call Mary E. Poppins. Every day she enters MY property carrying suspicious buckets and throwing things around like she owns the place. Does she contribute to egg production? No. Does she live here? Also no. Yet she walks in with the confidence of someone paying taxes on this establishment.
Suspicious behavior.
Yesterday things felt… different.
She opened the coop doors and began tossing snacks around. A distraction tactic perhaps? Then I noticed something even more concerning.
The woman bent down.
Now I ask you this: Why? What was down there? Was she planting listening devices? Inspecting weak points in our defenses? Plotting against my flock?
As head of security, I could not stand by.
I immediately activated Operation Feathered Fury.
I sprinted across the coop at full speed. The ladies watched in awe as I leaped onto my perch, gaining the high ground like the tactical genius I am.
And then I launched.
Target: Hair area.
Success.
Now I would like to point out that I did NOT expect the human to panic. Suddenly there was screaming. Flailing. Rapid spinning. Honestly very dramatic behavior.
Then things took an unexpected turn.
In her attempt to escape justice, the human struck her own head on the coop doorway.
I repeat:
THE HUMAN HIT HERSELF.
I had absolutely nothing to do with that part.
Next thing I know she retreats from the battlefield, wounded and confused, while I stood there in victorious silence looking majestic.
The hens gathered around me.
One whispered, “You’re so brave.”
Another called me handsome.
As for Mary… I suspect she’ll return. They always do.
And when she does…
I’ll be waiting.
— Kung Pow Rooster
Head of Security
Protector of the Harem
First of His Name
Defender of the Coop