memika2981-mpyrd

I don’t think I ever want to watch roosters again. I think I’m officially traumatized for life. This morning was basically A Series of Unfortunate Events: Chicken Coop Edition.

So I wake up, feed the dogs, get all the chicken goodies ready, and head down to the coop like the responsible pet nanny that I am.

I open the coop, toss breakfast in, and bend down to check the water because apparently I care about hydration. Well… Mr. Rooster — and I’m trying to keep this family-friendly — decided today was the day to choose violence.

This feathered little jerk came charging across the coop like I owed him money. He jumped up onto his little perch so now he had the high ground, and while I’m bent over checking water, this tiny dinosaur launches an aerial attack directly onto my head. Talons in my hair. Pecking. Flapping. Chaos.

At this point I’m blind because I don’t have my glasses on, and I’m trying to duck so I don’t lose an eyeball. I attempt some kind of panicked ninja-spin escape move… except apparently I forgot one tiny detail:

THE DOOR FRAME.

I absolutely smoked my head into it.

So now I’ve got a rooster attached to my scalp, blood running down my head, and I’m pretty sure I saw my ancestors for a brief moment.

Looking back, it’s kind of funny. At the time? Not so much. My head has been pounding all morning and I may or may not have a slight concussion. I say slight because I’m still coherent enough to tell this story and laugh about it.

I understand he was protecting his little harem. I respect it. But sir… there were other options.

Anyway… chicken nuggets sound amazing for dinner tonight.