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To say that I’m not nervous about going to feed the chickens this morning would be a lie. But I’m also not about to let some poultry push me around. Absolutely not. I refuse to live in fear of a feathered dinosaur with anger issues.

I’m definitely not going to mention to him that his cousin Mr. Turkey Sandwich was absolutely delicious yesterday with tomato, lettuce, and sourdough bread. We’re choosing peace today. We learned our lesson. We don’t need to escalate tensions.

Now listen… I’ll give credit where credit is due. Kung Pow Rooster did an excellent job protecting his little harem yesterday. A+ security work. But sir… let’s be honest… those ladies aren’t nearly as plump as you are. They wouldn’t make a very good chicken parm. Just saying.

Today I will be entering the coop with my trusty chicken stick and the awareness level of a Navy SEAL entering enemy territory. Head on a swivel. Eyes locked in. Survival instincts activated. Because Kung Pow Rooster and I clearly have unfinished business.

I’m still a little sore from yesterday’s attempted murder scene. My scalp is recovering from the beak stabbing and talon attack, and somehow by the grace of God I escaped slamming my head into the door frame with no bump. Just a slight headache,  emotional damage and a slight concussion.

But I shall rise again.

If I stop posting, please send help. Or breadcrumbs as a distraction.

Day 2 of The Great Rooster War featuring Kung Pow Rooster begins now.